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queen2joey

Online training of a sub

This question is directed to those who are either being trained or are training a sub online.  I have been approached by many men who would like me to take them on as an online sub.

Since I am a "real time" person, I had never considered getting satisfaction from this before.  I guess I am starting to see that there could be some fun from this interaction.  I was wondering how a Domme does this and what is the payoff for both.

Joe was in an online relation that did have some interaction later.  Is it fulfilling for the Domme as well.  Is there always an intention that the two or more will meet?  Any illumination would be appreciated.

and I am unsure if this is the correct subject area, so move if it is better suited somewhere else.
Cheryl
GentleDomme

Cheryl,
I have personally found this very rewarding. I get asked quite often, what does the Domme gain from an online relationship? I cannot speak for all Dommes, of course, but I can tell you about me. First of all, I have found that it is just as easy for me to form a very strong bond with a sub online as it is in person. A deep connection. That is one thing I crave the most. To connect with someone like that, several someones. I have also found that an online relationship is only limited by your imagination.

One thing that is very important though, with an online sub, is you have to get someone that is serious. Not someone just into playing games. You also need someone trustworthy. Because you have to trust them to do as you say. If you suspect they are not doing as ordered, there are always little ways you can test them.

For my online relationships, there is not always an intention for us to meet someday. And sometimes there is. The most important thing is just not to stress about that part. Just have fun with what you can now. And an online relationship can be lots of fun. I tend to tease my online subs quite a bit. And that is definately fun for me. lol

I also have my subs do little tasks for me. Like Drew just recently searched for some info on photography for me, because I was interested in that. It saved me a lot of time, and he got to serve me. Win, Win.

I have also recently started web-cam checks for one of my subs. Now that is fun! Puts him in a submissive state of mind when I can see him and he can't see me. lol

I would say, give it a try with someone and if it doesn't work out, than no big deal. Remember that YOU have control over it.

Kat
GentleDomme

Another thing I have just realized. I seem to take the online relationship more serious then my online subs. To me, it is a relationship like any other. It's important to me, very important. And I will do what I can to make it work. But it's hard to make any relationship work when only one of the people in that relationship really cares.

Kat
queen2joey

thank you.

I would agree that they would have to be serious.
Joe was a very good online sub, and he is an excellent one in person.  So that is good.

I guess I will look past all the goofballs to consider one if they are serious and committed.

thanks so much for you input
cheryl
GentleDomme

gentledomme wrote:
Another thing I have just realized. I seem to take the online relationship more serious then my online subs. To me, it is a relationship like any other. It's important to me, very important. And I will do what I can to make it work. But it's hard to make any relationship work when only one of the people in that relationship really cares.

Kat


Brian1 recently broke one of my rules, thus the post above. I was questioning whether or not he was truly committed to me or not at that time. The rule he had broke was to let me know of any schedule changes, beforehand. This is the same rule he had broken just a couple of weeks ago. I do not expect him to be perfect but I do expect him to learn from his mistakes. Because he didn't tell me of a schedule change, I ended up waiting all night on Saturday for him to come online. If it had been an emergency, I could have forgiven him. But instead it was just a case of him not thinking about me. Telling me, he has yet to make me a priority in his life. Granted, our relationship is still new, but I thought the bond was deeper than that.

It took me a while to think of a punishment for this one. I wanted something that would make an impression on him without making me suffer too. His punishment is he is not allowed to visit my site or my blog for two days. Before, he was checking both at least once a day. I will still be in touch with him on a daily basis, but he is cut off from everyone else, and from my inner thoughts, which are on my blog. He will be allowed back online on Thursday.

Being that our relationship is strictly online, it is hard sometimes to punish. I cannot after all, spank him. I suppose I could have him spank himself, but not sure that would have the same effect. Anyway, I use what I can.

Kat
Cherylssubhub

Kat,
I had been an online slave for a couple of years before Cheryl and I met.  Believe me there are ways to effectively physically punish an online slave.

If you are interested in hearing one or two let me know.  I could post them on the forum if you wish, or tell you about them privately if you wanted to keep them a surprise for those who misbehave.

Joe
Crkrs

Cherylssubhub,

I would like to hear about the effective means to punish an online slave/sub (if that's ok with you and Mz Kat).

To me it seems a fairly difficult thing to do. One certainly can't make the offender to punish themselves physically (unless s/he is an masochist). I know that I enjoy receiving pain, but couldn't deal it out to myself at a sufficient level for punishment. Remember, that this is a punishment, not something to place a sub/slave into subspace.

And to perform an embarrassing activity, such as shaving one's legs (being a male myself), wearing shorts and stockings, and having to visit a shopping mall and get photos taken of yourself! Don't think that I could do this in real life, though I fantasize about this and other similar activites!

Your comments?

Cheers,
Crkrs
GentleDomme

CSH,
Yes, I would be interested to hear the ways to punish physically online. If you wouldn't mind sharing them here, that would be great. I don't mind the guys hearing. Maybe hearing it will make them think twice about breaking one of my rules.

Kat
Guest

Can you all give me some suggestions on online training. I too have recently taken on an online sub. Since I have never done this in the past I am kinda at a loss as to where to start. I think I will make him do tasks online. He has a cam and is married. I am currently trying to find out if this is ok with his wife before I begin. I really don't want any issues with the wife later.
GentleDomme

Joe went into more detail in the kink section. Here is the link to that.

http://atherfeet.myfastforum.org/about254.html

I have found giving them tasks to preform that I would normally have to do, like search something on the internet is a great way to make use of an online sub. I have also set up weekly inspections of an online sub by webcam. That was great fun for me. lol I have found it takes a great amount of imagination to keep something like that fresh and exciting.

Yes, do check with the wife first, I have gotten burned a couple of times when a husband all of a sudden has an attack of conscience and I was the one left high and dry, without a word. Now I won't take on an online sub if he is married.

Kat
dedic8ted2u2

I hope I'm not jumping into this thread too late.  I'm new on this site and want to be active and participate.

From a subs perspective I can say that I am very obedient to an online Mistress.  However, I also know that many "submissive" men are only into it for a brief period of time before moving on, losing interest, or becoming too embarrassed by it.  I was one of those men before.  I had submissive tendencies and finally decided to try out online submission.  For the most part I was dedicated, but there were times when I questioned the normalcy of it and would retreat.  Of course I also don't think that I was connected with the right type of dommes for me.  Two of the few that I submitted to over time eventually wanted me to go out in public either in complete women's clothing or to get drunk on whiskey and go out and buy gay porn and things like that.  I was willing to submit to most of their desires, but in the privacy of my home.  

Recently however I experienced a mild D/s relationship with an old friend.  Through our discussions we found out that we have that dynamic together and she would occassionally act as my domme via email, chat or phone.  However, she is married and we couldn't continue that part of our relationship.  

Fortunately however, it made me realize that I honestly do desire a strong confident woman to submit to and serve.  I'm happy to obey my Mistresses commands and would do almost anything to please a Mistress.  I would even endure tasks outside of my home, as long as they weren't overt and wouldn't cause public problems for me.

I do like the idea of being given mundane tasks to perform for a Mistress.  That would make me feel like I'm being of service and making my Mistress happy.  Of course I always crave the kinkier orders and tasks where I have to put aside my modesty and "manliness" and use myself as the wonderful Mistress wishes.

As for effective punishments, I guess that all depends on the individual submissive.  As for me, the following forms of punishment are effective...

- spanking myself (although I could never spank as hard as a Mistress would, I have pushed myself to extreme pain levels) for my Mistress
- writing humiliating messages on my body
- forced to drink my cum (definitely a punishment! ugh!)
- orgasm denial  :-(
- NOT being given any tasks for a short period of time (I crave pleasing a Mistress and being forced to amuse her.  When I'm not receiving orders I feel unimportant)
- Writing a story for my Mistress (although this isn't really punishment, it is a task that requires much time, effort and thought)

I'm sure there are many others that I'm just not thinking of at the moment.

Anyway, I'm glad to be a part of this forum!
GentleDomme

No, not late at all, glad you could join us. I like seeing the older threads revisited. Things change so much over time.

I found a couple of things you said very interesting, and I thank you for bringing them up. One of them was this.

Quote:
However, I also know that many "submissive" men are only into it for a brief period of time before moving on, losing interest, or becoming too embarrassed by it.  I was one of those men before.  


I do find that a lot in the men online. It's frustrating, because sometimes it is tough to distinguish the serious ones from the ones that are just wanting play. Thank you for admitting you were one of those subs at one time. And I am very glad you are not that way anymore.

Quote:
I do like the idea of being given mundane tasks to perform for a Mistress.  That would make me feel like I'm being of service and making my Mistress happy.  Of course I always crave the kinkier orders and tasks where I have to put aside my modesty and "manliness" and use myself as the wonderful Mistress wishes.


I think, for me, the tasks I give my online subs are more for making my life easier. Sometimes I don't have time to do a simple google search about something I am interested in. So, when a small task like that is done for me, and done well, it's one less thing I have to worry about.

Are you serving a mistress now, online or off?

Kat
FinallyMe

on line sub

I think that it actually isn't much different than real life, real time.  It can add a wonderful dynamic to life.  You also can define does this ever have the possibility of becoming real time...or just on line?  So many dimensions, and each hurdle, each communication barrier you break thru helps both of you.  You learn how to communicate better, how to develop your control skills and get what you want and need, while he learns how to please, serve, and submit.  You both are able to identify areas of potential trouble spots in relationships...how to move around and thru them.  

Yes it is hard to find matches to your style etc, but that can be very true in real life as well.  

I tend to think that taking your time before committing on both parts helps to see if your well suited...those who are quick to jump are usually just thrill seekers.  Punishment can be writting assignments, on cam exercises, etc.  I don't really care to involve innocent people in punishment.  Just a few thoughts ...

Patricia
dedic8ted2u2

Hello Mistress Kat,

I agree, it was actually frustrating to me, believe it or not, that I would be committed to it at one point and then be embarrassed or nervous about it at another point and begin to back away, or completely stop communicating.  For me, as long as my submissiveness doesn't have to be shown to the world, I have come to embrace it!

I like that you give mundane tasks simply to make your life easier.   That's the way it should be!  As a sub, that would make me proud and happy to be able to assist my Mistress, and not only provide entertainment for her.

I have started a relationship online and am trying to earn my Mistresses favor to be her sub.

Unfortunately I don't have a real life Mistress right now.  I never really have, other than the friend that helped me realize my true feelings, but tha was a very short and very limited experience because of her marital status.
GentleDomme

dedic8ted2u2 wrote:
Hello Mistress Kat,
I have started a relationship online and am trying to earn my Mistresses favor to be her sub.

Unfortunately I don't have a real life Mistress right now.  I never really have, other than the friend that helped me realize my true feelings, but tha was a very short and very limited experience because of her marital status.


Please, do me a favor and take the online D/s relationship as serious as a real life one. To some of us out here, ME, it is real. Very real, and very serious. I am not saying you cannot have fun with it, but treat it as a real relationship. You should be as dedicated to your online Mistress just as much as if she were standing in the room.

I am not saying that you don't, but some don't see it that way. And it causes problems for those of us who do.

Just my opinion on the matter.

Kat
dedic8ted2u2

I agree Mistress Kat, it is extremely important!  It's a little more difficult however because of limited communication, not being able to read subtle nuances in body language and "looks", and wondering how important you truly are to the person on the other end of cyber space.

That's why I phrased it as "started a relationship AND trying to earn her favor".  We just started communicating two weeks ago and I'm already committed to her and serving her and pleasing her, but our communication is severely limited :(  and that's frustrating to me.

Another difficutly is that I want a real life relationship as well, so balancing that search with true dedication to someone online can be confusing at times.
stacys

Online subs

This is a great discussion.

MY wife recently took a online sub, she was hesitant at first. But I think she got lucky in finding a good sub. He and I do our all to please her...The relationship is still pretty new but so far all 3 of us are enjoying it...I am waiting her to get more comfortable so that she will be more open to sharing things, sending pics, demanding more of him and I.

It has defenitly been interesting so far. We have been at it about 3 weeks now.
Guest

I would say if anyone is finding it difficult being an online sub then going down the hypno-domme route could help, there are may sessions available that are designed more for having your own mistress rather than being a sub to the actual hypno-domme, a few sessions of a decent one should put you in the correct frame of mind. I have had quite a few requests for this type of session of late that has made me decide to record a series for help, when I finish this who knows but at least I have started hehehe.
GentleDomme

LadyCaz wrote:
I would say if anyone is finding it difficult being an online sub then going down the hypno-domme route could help, there are may sessions available that are designed more for having your own mistress rather than being a sub to the actual hypno-domme, a few sessions of a decent one should put you in the correct frame of mind. I have had quite a few requests for this type of session of late that has made me decide to record a series for help, when I finish this who knows but at least I have started hehehe.


I am curious, what do you mean by hypno-domme?

Kat
GentleDomme

Re: Online subs

stacys wrote:
This is a great discussion.

MY wife recently took a online sub, she was hesitant at first. But I think she got lucky in finding a good sub. He and I do our all to please her...The relationship is still pretty new but so far all 3 of us are enjoying it...I am waiting her to get more comfortable so that she will be more open to sharing things, sending pics, demanding more of him and I.

It has defenitly been interesting so far. We have been at it about 3 weeks now.


That is so great to hear. An online sub can really be fun, for all parties involved when it works out. I am so glad she is exploring this and having fun while doing it.

Kat
Guest

GentleDomme wrote:

I am curious, what do you mean by hypno-domme?

Kat

Kat: I make hypnosis mp3's that they purchase, these quite simply induce a level of control over the subject, as they actually want to be controlled it turns out it is very easy to get them to a high trance level, at that point certain triggers are induced into them, examples being they must email me for permission before masturbating, or in some cases before they can get an erection, they wont be able to cum unless I allow it, when they do relieve themselves they must do so say on their knees whilst pledging obedience to me, they must behave in a gentlemanly fashion to all ladies they see, opening doors etc, or one of my favourits if in an evil mood everytime the see a woman in a red dress they get an imediate erection hehehehe. this can be reinforced by having one sided cam sessions where you can observe that they are actually reaching the level of trance you require and triggers are working. You also include loyalty anchors that make them come back for more and buy you occasional gifts from my amazon gift list. It's doing ok atm, jim handles all emails and is making a new site when we hope to make this a full time income for both of us. A lot more is involved but thats the basic gist.
GentleDomme

Okay, thank you for explaining.

Kat
servileserf

I have only just come to this thread, there is a great traing aid especially designed for online distance training. It is called Fond of Writing, which is a program where the D sets up writing tasks which the sub needs to complete and email back. The system then checks if the typing is correct, no errors and completed in a specifict time. The typing can be random sentences or repetitive and obstructions can be added in, making it difficult to complete, if sub gets it right a well done, if not the Domme can either send more to do or find some other punishment as needed.
Hope this is of some use for training.

Just type in fond of writing and it should come up
Guest

I shall look into that it could make my work easier, if it does you will get your first task soon servileserf  
Guest

Ok so who wants to be my first victim test subject. get it wrong and I shall require a picture posted here holding a peice of paper reading "I must learn to read and spell correctly"
Woody

GentleDomme wrote:
dedic8ted2u2 wrote:
Hello Mistress Kat,
I have started a relationship online and am trying to earn my Mistresses favor to be her sub.

Unfortunately I don't have a real life Mistress right now.  I never really have, other than the friend that helped me realize my true feelings, but tha was a very short and very limited experience because of her marital status.


Please, do me a favor and take the online D/s relationship as serious as a real life one. To some of us out here, ME, it is real. Very real, and very serious. I am not saying you cannot have fun with it, but treat it as a real relationship. You should be as dedicated to your online Mistress just as much as if she were standing in the room.

I am not saying that you don't, but some don't see it that way. And it causes problems for those of us who do.

Just my opinion on the matter.

Kat
I was involved in an online relationship and I want to tell you that when I was finally released, it broke my heart. I know from experience that you can build a very strong emotional bond without ever having touched someone in real life.
servileserf

LadyCaz wrote:
Ok so who wants to be my first victim test subject. get it wrong and I shall require a picture posted here holding a peice of paper reading "I must learn to read and spell correctly"

Lady Caz, I take you have found it and have had a play. I am away on a business trip at the moment and do not have access to my pc at home until Friday evening, dont know if you want to wait that long to try it out,
servileserf

I am on my mobile now unfortunately (hope the first test is straight forward and not too many distractions).
Guest

Servileserf, say it is you who has come along first and woody has disapointed me I may have to alter things as it was meant for someone from the US but I shall modify and you will suffer for making me.
servileserf

Lady Caz, I am happy for woody to do the test so that you dont have to change it, I must admit that I am surprised woody wasnt first as he had posted after you did, is he running away! hehe, please dont make it too hard as i am new at this. come on woody, help out and step up to the plate ir we are all going to suffer, hehe
servileserf

Lady Caz, I am happy for woody to do the test so that you dont have to change it, I must admit that I am surprised woody wasnt first as he had posted after you did, is he running away! hehe, please dont make it too hard as i am new at this. come on woody, help out and step up to the plate ir we are all going to suffer, hehe
Woody

[quote="servileserf"]
LadyCaz wrote:
Ok so who wants to be my first victim test subject. get it wrong and I shall require a picture posted here holding a peice of paper reading "I must learn to read and spell correctly"


I'll volunteir Ladcaz. And here's my pic anyway.

Woody

servileserf wrote:
Lady Caz, I am happy for woody to do the test so that you dont have to change it, I must admit that I am surprised woody wasnt first as he had posted after you did, is he running away! hehe, please dont make it too hard as i am new at this. come on woody, help out and step up to the plate ir we are all going to suffer, hehe


I'm trying too. My brattiness keeps getting in the way though. However, I have this sudden feeling that Ladcaz may call me down for my actions. I'd best straighten up and fly right before she clips my wings.
Woody

All silliness aside LadyCaz. I would be honored to participate in this test. I'll do my best to provide whatever feedback you require. I do admit to being a bit nervous about this but still, I'll put my trust in your capable hands.
sincerely,
lineboy53

Hi.

I haven't used FOW (Fond Of Writing) but I am a member of it's sister Yahoo group written_punishments. That's where I came up with my name lineboy.

Basically the same idea a FOW but as its name suggests you have to write out the punishment by hand. Not quite as automated as FOW but for those who prefer having to write rather then type.

The group is quite restrictive on what you are allowed to say/discuss so it might not suit all but I quite like it. I have used it to receive lines/copying punishments from Ladies in the group when I have not respected a Lady in "real life" for example whilst I was out one day I spent sometime looking at Ladies bottoms, so I submitted a request to the group and received my punishment.

Thanks
lineboy
Woody

Hi Linebay.. I'm not that good at writing now that I've lost half my left thumb in an accident. Just my luck to be left handed too. I can type well enough and I'm a pretty good speller but my handwriting is atrocious and even signing my name can be painful so I print carefully and type when I can.
Woody

Oops,,, I meant to type Lineboy... sorry for the typo.
servileserf

Woody, that doesn't bod well making typos like that, every error and taking too long is recorded, no place to hide unfortunately
Woody

I know. Darn! One typo too many and I'm out like a bad light bulb. I wonder about punctuation. Ordinarily when conversing online, it's not so important. However, I do try to use proper punctuation as well as proper grammar. Unless, of course, I'm goofing off. I been known to do that quite often.
Anyway, thanks for the warning. I'll try to do better in the future.
Woody

PS; Just so you'll know,  the word is bode, LOLLLLLLLL
servileserf

LOL, that's why it is better that I don't do the test, I would end up in trouble all the time, and I am sure Lady Caz would just make it harder for everyone else as a result, and I don't want to be responsible for that lol
Woody

LOL, I don't even know the rules for the test yet. That's assuming that LadyCaz gives it to me. I fully intend to do the best job that I can.
Hey! You could back me up, you know. There is always an alternate if the front runner gets injured or something.  
servileserf

Woody wrote:

Hey! You could back me up, you know. There is always an alternate if the front runner gets injured or something.  

Hope this went well and there were no injuries!
Woody

Actually something got stalled here. We haven't continued and finished the race yet.
I'm just waiting... and waiting...and waiting.
(poor woody, boo hoo, always a bridesmaid, never a bride, boo hoo hoo)
GentleDomme

Woody wrote:
Actually something got stalled here. We haven't continued and finished the race yet.
I'm just waiting... and waiting...and waiting.
(poor woody, boo hoo, always a bridesmaid, never a bride, boo hoo hoo)


Poooooooor Woody.

Kat
Guest

But the wait and sweating by you is part of the pleasure for me woody dear.
Woody

The wait is bad enough Ladcaz. But...the sweating and squirming and wriggling and moving...oh my. Is it suddenly hot in here or is it just me?
FinallyMe

This thread just cracks me up....I can just see a room full of men squriming and stuttering and oh the delight.

Patricia
Woody

I don't wanna think about it. Not sure I could handle the strain.
GentleDomme

FinallyMe wrote:
This thread just cracks me up....I can just see a room full of men squriming and stuttering and oh the delight.

Patricia


You are so very right, Patricia, it is a delightful thought. I love making men squirm.

Kat
Woody

wiggle wiggle wiggle, squirm squirm, writhe writhe.... how's that, Ms Kat?
Whewww, all this squirming is hard work!

GentleDomme

LOL, nicely done, Woody.

Kat
Woody

Thank you Ms Kat . Yesterday my squirming abilities were put to the test. I chased my 17 month old grand daughter all day long. We crawled and ran, we raced after toys, we played with the dogs, we ate snacks, we got pony rides, whewwwww. We also changed stinky diapers, Peeeee-uuuuu lol. Paw Paw Woody didn't have any trouble getting to sleep last night.
Guest

Fantastic woody, it's realy nice to see the other side of you, the non sub grandfather, it just enhances what a realy good person you are.
Woody

Why thank you Ladycaz. I feel that I'm fortunate because my weekends are usually filled with grandkids and I try to entertain them in various ways. Having two of them so close gives me an advantage. I have a more opportunity to spoil them, lol. In fact, if I had known how much fun grandkids were, I would have had them first, lol.
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