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stedi

Full time feminization

Hi, I'd like to share my situation and possibly get some advice from others living a similar lifestyle.

My girlfriend and I have been together for a couple of years.  She told me early in our relationship that she started dating me because I have a slight build and somewhat feminine features.  She's made it her project to feminize me and basically turn me into her girlfriend.

I wasn't too into the idea to start, but honestly it didn't take much convincing.  I've always enjoyed crossdressing, and I like being able to express myself as a woman.  We get along really well, and when I'm dressed up, I almost feel like we're sisters.  

She always has suggestions on how to improve my feminine appearance, and as I improve, it's becoming harder (and plain inconvenient) to switch back to a fully male appearance for work and such.  The simplest solution is for me to stay in a female role 24/7.  I know she would prefer it, and honestly so would I.  

This presents a couple of problems, though.  I think I can pass pretty well, but my voice isn't quite right.  Also, all my ID has my male name on it, so I think I'd have a hard time getting a job.  And lastly, I'm a little worried that the farther I go down this road, the less likely it is I'll come back - so if we eventually break up, will I ever be able to find another relationship with a woman who accepts me this way?

Since I'm a heterosexual, I really have no interest in going for a sex change.  And I don't have that strong 'woman trapped in a mans body' feeling that most TGs talk about.  I enjoy being a girl, and right now its preferable, but I don't know about the future.  I'm mainly doing it because my girlfriend likes me this way, and that could change in the future.  

Has anyone else dealt with similar concerns?  Thanks in advance for your feedback!
Guest

I Don't think even most of the CD's here have gone that far, I really think you would get better advice on a TG or TS forum but in saying that please join in other stuff here and there may be the odd one who helps.
GentleDomme

I would say, do what feels right. No one can know what the future will bring.

I know that some CD's have found some relief by wearing female clothing under there male ones, when they need to wear male clothing. Maybe something like that would help. So you don't feel so strange when you are wearing male clothing.

Hope that helps,
Kat
FinallyMe

I think †your doing what YOU want......and projecting it on her. †You admit it didn't take much talking from her to lead †you down this path, that you like it more and more....seems to me your now at a crossroads and you best be careful where you go.

You have some really valid concerns and you should look at those carefully. †There isn't anything wrong with how your feeling, how your behaving, how your dressing....for now. † Finding the right life match is always hard, add quirks in the mix and as you well know it can get harder. †You are just being an adult and looking ahead to some possible potential issues should your current relationship dissolve. †So instead of focusing all this energy on you....what is the status of YOUR RELATIONSHIP? †How much better, more stabile, more solid would it be with more time, effort, attention and communication would it be? †

Sorry best advice I can give, more attention to her, less on you, some counseling from those better able to answer. †Don't project this on her, you own it, in my opinion †I do think it is a wise person to know that sometimes you go so far you can't go back...and to look at that very carefully before walking that path to long.


Patricia
GentleDomme

I wouldn't do anything drastic (like surgery, or living female full time) unless you are absolutely sure you want to go that route. And you don't sound sure at all. Make sure it is right for YOU, before you take a step like that.

Kat
stedi

Thanks very much for the feedback, everyone.  Although my girlfriend guided me down this path, I've certainly been a willing participant, and I'm very comfortable with myself right now.  

Sometimes it just gets a little awkward that (in my opinion) I don't pass 100% as either a woman or a man.  And as I get closer to passing as a woman, it gets harder to flip the 'man' switch back on for things like going to work.

Ah well, it's all just details, really, and a small price to pay for living my life it a way that a few years ago I wouldn't have dreamed of!
Katie Anne

Stedi,

I have known men you live full time in dresses and skirts. This makes them stand out no matter how well they passed. I know one individual who is 6'7, who I have never seen wear anything but a mini-skirt, skimpy blouse, and spike high heels. Obviously s/he values comfort more than social acceptance. A petite young woman who dressed this way would be very noticeable. A giantess, built like a pro-basketball point guard is going to be "read" by every person who s/he encounters. I deliberately use the s/he pronoun to indicate that I am not sure if this person is presenting as a woman or a ostentatious Gay male. I don't care either. Enjoy life!

When I lived on the West Coast I knew dozens of men who lived as women full time without surgery and many without hormones. One had mustache and another a full beard. Stu Rasmussen was elected mayor of Silverton. Oregon  as a very out of closet cross dresser.http://www.metroweekly.com/news/last_word/2008/11/first-out-crossdressing-mayor.html.

Stedi, you only have one life. You need to live it in a way that is fulfilling to you. You and your girlfriend need a firm commitment, preferably in writing as to what financial relations between you will be. I have seen men, including my own boyfriend have a harder and harder time switching back to the male role.

Odd, isn't it. If you were female and decided not wear makeup, jewelry, skirts or high heels, few would even notice. I have several Lesbian acquaintances who are just barely recognizable as women from 10 yards away and it has not limited their employment opportunities or social interaction.

Best of Luck.

Katie Anne
Jimmy

I say go for it if it fells right for you
Just be careful about being pushed into any Permanent changes
It will definately be a life changing experience
I have never lived totally enfemme on a full time basis
But have dressed for 10 days or so at a time
and dressed when "Home" for over 2 1/2 Years

Jimmy  
GentleDomme

Jimmy wrote:
I say go for it if it fells right for you
Just be careful about being pushed into any Permanent changes
It will definately be a life changing experience
I have never lived totally enfemme on a full time basis
But have dressed for 10 days or so at a time
and dressed when "Home" for over 2 1/2 Years

Jimmy †


Good advice, Jimmy.

Kat
Jimmy

Live that dream
when and while you can .
Have fun with it .
Dance in the breeze in a full skirt  .
Walk in the sunshine in a sundress .
Walk in the rain barefoot .
Experience every bit if you can.
Smile .laugh , cry,
and never, never be ashamed of those fem feelings.


Jimmy
Madam-Raison-Detre

Hi Stedi

This is not a rehearsal life is far too short, if it makes you feel happy and contented to dress then go ahead who are we to say donít do it ?  It does not mean you are gay or anything else. Also if you do have an understanding girlfriend then that is fantastic but rare to say the least so make sure you keep hold of her.

I see lots of cross-dressers on a daily basis and itís quite sad that they can't tell their partners/girlfriends/wives. Think about it from childhood we are all conditioned that boys should play with cars and toy soldiers and girls should play with pretty dolls and make-up but who makes these conditions? Society, our parents, our peers.

For instance if I went out wearing your male jeans and shirt no one would blink a eye but if you went out in my skirt and blouse, make up etc attitudes towards you would be completely different. In the UK there are no laws against males wearing female clothes (cross-dressing); I donít know what the laws are in the USA?

Cross-dressing generally stems from childhood/puberty and any number of events could trigger/set it off, itís where a window of opportunity opens and from that split second it stays with you for life. I have listed just a few examples below.

1. Your older sister used to dress you up as a child
2. You used to watch you aunty putting lipstick on
3. You loved the feel of your motherís satin lingerie, panties, bra, slips, corsetry
4. A  teenage girl you knew always wore a leather jacket and you loved the smell and touch of the leather
5. The smell of someone perfume, smell of make up
6. Trying on your cousins brides maid dress
7. Stockings/tights/hosiery taking them from your motherís bedroom and putting them on when you were a boy.
8. Satin panties, how silky and soft. So pretty, so delicate and you wanted to feel delicate.

And so the list goes on, these are just a few examples, whoops sorry Stedi going off at a tangent here. Back to the point, enjoy it, embrace it and above all donít care what others think. You look fantastic, great legs and pretty face.

YOU GO GIRL !!!!!

Madam Raison Detre xXx
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